So at the moment I'm half hour north of Yass, which by all accounts is in the middle of fucking nowhere in a place called Boorowa. I was picked up from train station by Mike and Patricia. In other words the strange odd couple from never ending story. They seemed pretty cool though and took me for a pub lunch a pint then to the bottleo for grab a slab. Got to the house after driving and driving further and further in to the middle of nowhere. They showed me where I would be staying and I'm living in a caravan 30 meters away from the main house, got it to myself so not bad at all. Well I have a few bugs for night time friends. Outside my door are kangaroos and wallabies all night fucking long. Noisy fuckers I tell ya. To go with that noise there are dogs, sheep, cows, chickens, pigs, goats, horses, ducks, and fuck knows what else in the woods I'm in.
So my first day.

Tuesday the 22of march

All I had to do was drive a three wheeler motor bike called the mighty mate around the farm and pick up rocks then put them in gullys down the drive. Because of the rain and flooding last night the drive is almost impossible to use. Once the rocks were in the gullys I got some dirt and put it on top. Basically just make the drive useable, the drive is about a 1000 meters though. I plodded along for the day and got that done. Easy as fuck and I got to play on a 3 wheeler all day.

Wednesday 23rd march

So today was pretty straight forward. Got up about 8 and went up to the house and had a chat and a cuppa. Started work about 8:30, finished off what I started yesterday, I had a few run offs to finish off. Run offs as in just redirecting the water that comes down the drive. Got all that finished and then started work on fixing up the other caravan. It's a bit of a mess and full of spiders. The whole thing needs burning but doing it up is what's gonna happen. I started ripping all the shit out from inside and then I saw a dead spider, dead because old geeza mike said he just killed it. Biggest fucker I ever seen. Shit myself, glad the bitch was dead. Got my phone out to take a picture. There I was, the big man I am taking a picture and the fucking thing runs along the wall. Fuck shit balls arse and wank did I shit it, dropped my phone the fled like a mother fucker. Calmed down and 2 mins later I go back in for kill. This thing to me was massive shitting great thing. They class this as small as fuck. I don't. So anyway in a go with me hammer and shield. There it is right in front of me, on the fucking window, smart fuckers they are. Plan B, so I got a stick, I say stick I mean tree. Poke, off it goes on the wall. Hammer smash. Dead? No, fucker starts scrapping along the wall. Hammer smash. Dead? At fucking last. Ordeal over, thank fuck.
Then I get the call on the 2way, we're off to get some hay. In the car, trailer on back and away we go, only 10 mins up the road to the next farm. Load it on, have a chat and back we come. Load all the hay in with the chickens and other animals. Then that's it for the day. Went for a wee spin on the bike up the woods, with Mike, Jess, who is Patricia's daughter and her fella Chris. Saw a mob of roo's. Learning the lingo I am, roo's... short for kangaroo. Smart these aussies are.
Fucking webs and spiders everywhere. I could only imagine Australia is a taste of hell. The worst part is this is New South Wales. Nothing bad lives down here, all the real spiders, crocs, sharks and shit are up in the north. North as in where im going in like 14 days.
So I better tell you about the people im staying with Mike and Patricia, lovely couple. Both smart as fuck as make crocodile Dundee look like Phil Lock. I'm talking they can do anything. In the woods Jess is eating bugJs and shit. Mad as fuck but i'm gonna learn a lot from these old farm goats. Mike is retired aircraft engineer and Patricia is a horticulturalist. She knows every name from grass, trees, flowers, fruit, veg, the fucking lot. She lived for 6 years with no power and going shopping once every 6 months or summin mad. Kills and cooks all her own shit. Honestly these are crazy as fuck but man they know how to do nearly everything. I just keep learning new shit but can't remember it all. So yeah, that pretty much somes up today?

Thursday 23rd march.

Today was the easiest day yet. I didn't really get up to much at all. Got up about half 8 and popped into town. I say town, it took and half hour to get there and there was like 20 shit bag shops. I did get some mobile signal though so that was nice. Once we got back from that, about 11, I started work. Still just filling in the drive way which I don't mind doing. I get to put my head phones in and play on the bike, also get to play in the mud. Today's weird find was a legless lizard. I said, so it's a snake then?, and they were like no, legless lizard. I was hardcore and picked this fucker up though. Then the rain started and that was pretty much the end of my day. Oh at 7:30 I went down and put the chickens to bed, made sure they were all away in the cage for the night. Other than that because of the weather we just sat around chatting and playing on the computer. I will say I'm covered in mosquito bites though. Easily over 50 of the fuckers and there is nothing I can do to stop them. So all in all, today was a bit lazy.

The weekend.

So the weekend is here, now you might think drinks and parties? if you did you would be wrong, around here there is no such thing. Friday was just a normal work day.
While we were in town the other day Mike sorted out the selling of his steer Angus. He once was a bull but now a steer because he's had his bulls cut off. Because he's such a big fucker we need to build a cattle ramp to load him up on to the truck too. This basically means we need a shit load of trees to make poles and rails out of. Good news is we get to go into the woods and cut shit down, who doesn't wanna do that??? We spent a few hours planning out what we were gonna do and cut a few trees down.
So Saturday was again just sorting out this cattle ramp. There is rather a lot of work involved. We have to cut down the trees, strip the branches off, debark them and then drag them across the farm to the where the ramp was being built. We also had to dig 6 4ft holes to put the poles in. Poles as in big fuck off trees.
We managed to get the 6 we wanted and get them debarked and we got 5 in the holes before the old geeza's back gave in. This meant I got the afternoon to go and explore, and explore I did. I took the mountain bike and went kangaroo spotting. Off into the bush I went. The problem is there are so many spiders hanging everywhere. As you well know I'm not a fan of the 8 legged devil worshipers. I did on my little walkabout manage to see some giant rabbits though (kangaroos) they are pretty cool and until you stand that close to one you don't realize how big they are. I was 10ft away hiding behind a tree taking pictures until it clocked me and hopped off like a mother fucker. They are pretty cool. I can hear them all through the night and the wallabies but because it's dark it's hard to see them. Back to the house I go for dinner and a box office, they decided to get the American with Gorge Cloony in it. What a pile of spider shit. Do not bother with this film..
Sunday I got a bit of a lay in, lush. Today had the making of a good day and it did not fail. Mike's son Benny and his family were coming over and we were all heading off to watch the motorbike trails. Trials as in where they are stop start and balancing trying to get around a small circuit of rocks and jumps. They were being held down like a quarry and because of all the rain lately there was a lot of water about which made it a lot harder. Few people fell off which is always good to see, no one died, so I guess everyone's a winner. After the bikes we went back and had a chat for a while before Benny headed off.
After he'd gone we went down to the dam to put out some yabbie traps. Now yabbies are like a crab but live in water holes, dams and stuff like that. The traps we used are the same for catching crabs too. We slung them in and went back for a bit of tv. About 7pm we went back down to see what we had in the nets, we got like half a bucket full which for this time of year is pretty good. We threw the traps back in and left them for the morning.

Monday 27th march

So today knew we were not gonna be doing much as Chris's family was coming over. Still got up at normal time as the animals need a feed, the 3 of us chip in so it doesn't take 45 mins.
After this me and Mike headed back to making the cattle ramp, simple bits to be done, just building up the ramp using dirt and setting out where the rails were gonna go.
About 11o'clock we get the call over the radio....we have company. So we head up to the house to meet Chris's family. I don't remember their names but there were his 2 sisters, mum and dad. Took them for a walk up the bush and showed them the dam. Came back and had lunch and a few beers. They all carried on chatting. I was bored so I just went back and carried on with the cattle ramp. After a while Mike came down and joined me and then they all left anyway. Once they all went we went up and picked up our yabbies for dinner. They were not my first choice that's for sure but I said while in out here I'm going try and do all I can, so yabbies for dinner it was.
So we pull in our nets and the catch is not that bad, slap them in a bucket and back to the house we go. Patricia did the cooking as always, boiled the water and then dropped the fuckers in for 4 mins. She then dished them up with salad. I had a few but you had to pick the shell off then do this and that. I just like to eat my food. But they did taste ok though to be fair.